Thursday, March 11, 2010

My Friends Say This is Where “He” Comes in for US!

Pearl Nicodemus

How thin is the line between mutually beneficial relationships and using someone? ‘Win win’ situations, where do you draw the line?

Being far from home becomes extremely frustrating when one starts running out of money, food, airtime etc. Apparently this is where “he” comes in. I met a very nice gentleman who is a part of the Res Committee through my roommate. We got along quite well, he visited our room from time to time and I made nothing of it. One day one of my roommate’s friend insisted that he likes me. Well I told her she was seeing things because the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. She continued with the allegations, I continued to deny it until his casual visits turned into a daily routine. It then became very obvious and I could no longer run from the truth. My roommate and her friends seemed to be very excited about this despite the fact that I was nowhere near interested. They then began to show me the reasons why dating him would be such a bonus for US! 1. He has a fridge... that actually has food. 2. Money. 3. Oh I’ve already mentioned the fact that he has a fridge. The list went on and on. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, oh and 10. He’s actually very sweet.

All of this was happening at a time when I was in a very tight financial corner but honestly the thought of deceiving someone for my own benefit made my stomach turn. I was desperate at the time, I needed to go home urgently but using somebody goes against everything I believe in. I made a decision that I will drink tap water until I buy my own fridge.

Our honourable guest Mahlatse Gallens who visited us a week ago made a powerful statement. She said “no story is worth your soul”. The word ethics in the field of journalism is as common as ‘sphatlo’ in Soshanguve. You cannot separate the two. Ethics is defined as standards of right behaviour or moral principles. That incident got me thinking - ethics are more than just rules of right and wrong that you only apply in the field of journalism, they are principles; fundamental beliefs that transcend text books and learning material. They are the base of who you are.

So if you have no problems with using people for your own convenience or to get ahead in life, do you honestly believe that you will turn down a bribe for a good story?


  1. In an ideal world we would say its either right or wrong,black or white.But we live in a world of gray areas where ethics are based on circumstance..We are in essence inter-dependent,using each other out of necessity (if I can't use you then you are useless to me?../no man is an island...etc) statements that if anything encourage us to forge relationships for survivor...In the end it boils down to who you are and how far you are willing to bend that line...who uses whom tactfully enough so as to not seem immoral/unethical, because much as I do/would like to uphold my morals/principles I do not know how far the other person is willing to bend the line...TRUST they are not doing it out of a need to emulate Jesus!!

    Draw the line at the point where you believe your soul to be in peril,Ms Gallens was right no news is worth your soul, for me actually nothing IS worth my soul...

    And yes I too have a fridge Pearl,want to meet after lectures ;)?(Just putting it out there hahaha)